Because I am her Mom....

As I drove into work today I had some time to reflect on my daughter and the fact that Kindergarten is coming at us faster than I ever imagined it would.  And I worry as all Mothers do...I worry that it could be hard and I know growing up isn't easy.  I know that kids are mean, they can me so damn cruel and that's just the way it is.  I remember how bad it can hurt, and I had it really, really easy.  Somehow I can only recall one school year in my whole life where I felt that I was singled out and made fun of and man did it suck.  And you know, outside of being really scrawny I fit in pretty well.  I guess I slid under the radar as one would say.  But today times are different, the stories I hear about cyber-bullying scare me.  Back in the 80's, sure, you may have to put up with a really crappy bus ride or lonely recess but outside of the small group of bratty kids that united to make one child's life hell, well that was kind of the extent of it, they eventually got bored and moved on.  And I totally know that this is not always the case, I can remember 2 boys that I went to elementary school with who were always made fun of for being nerdy.  They were the classic image of the child who would have the "kick me" sign pinned to his back.  The fact that 30 years later, I still remember these boys leads me to believe that they probably had it pretty hard and I pray that they moved on to a normal life and teach their own children compassion rather than vengeance.  Sigh.  These are things I think about as Kindergarten draws near.  It is June, she will head into the second phase of her life in a measly 3 months.  This is her last summer....okay, well that is a bit dramatic but it was worth adding as I have always played up the drama in each of my "lasts" as my family will attest to.

This morning Paige was in a fantastic mood on the way to school and bounced right through the doors and into her classroom showing me all of her art and new things they were doing at school.  We waited for her class to return to the room from breakfast since we were running late and I packed her a juice box and Cheerios to eat on the go.  Once they arrived she gave me a big squishy hug and a smile and off I went.  I had no more than backed my car out of the parking spot when I looked up and Paige was barreling through the double doors with tears streaming across her face crying out my name.  I threw the car in park and rushed to meet her, her teacher was close behind and upset with Paige for running out of the school...and rightfully so.  Her teacher tried to grab Paige to keep her from running closer to me and the parking lot which just upset her further and as much as I wanted to yell at the teacher to just let her go I knew it was necessary.  When I finally reached her I scooped her into my arms and she cried as she buried her face into my neck.  What could have happened in the 2 minutes since I left?  I asked over and over, once she finally caught her breath she was able to say, "My friends were making fun of me!".  Which friends?  She told me the names of two boys in her class, I asked what they were making fun of to which she replied..."They were making fun of my juice box!".   Okay, really?  (insert screeching record sound)  That is what got her so upset?  A juice box?  What could they possibly have said cause that reaction.  Well it took a couple of minutes as I tried to console her, peel her off and hand her to an irritated teacher and get back out the door.  One of the worst ways to start your day is to leave your child, crying out for you as you turn your back and walk out the door.  To go to work.  And it is her last summer....

So the mornings events of course are what started my mind planning out her next years, wishing for sunshine and rainbows and then creeping into other places I just don't even want to think about.

You see, Paige....well she is different.  She is so fantastically different that I am certain that there has never been nor will there ever be another child like her.  She is sweet, so very loving to her brother, especially when I am not looking.  She is insanely beautiful and has eyes that I could stare into forever and a day.  She has spunk, sass and a really big attitude when she is irritated and when she isn't.  She is a bit spolied, but that isn't her fault.  She is funny and inquisitive and makes me laugh every day.  She cares so much about me, watches my every expression and asks why I make each face that I do...even if she is just watching it in the rear view mirror.  I love to be with her, I love her companionship and listening to her views on life and how she reasons things out.  She is incredibly athletic and I can't wait until she finds her "thing", oh she is going to be great.  But she is different.  Different from many other kids in that calling her a tomboy is an understatement.  And this something I worry about.  Maybe I shouldn't but I am pretty sure her big personality just isn't going to slide under that radar.  And I will do everything I can to give her the tools she needs to make it to the finish line with as few scars a possible.  She is my daughter and I am her Mom....


to be continued.....

John Deere

My kids LOVE tractors.  I am not sure exactly why but they both love, love, love them.  We have an old riding mower that my father-in-law gave us a few years back when he bought a new fancy one.  My husband loves it...even though it is pretty beat up.  But hey, it works and has proved it's worth time and time again.  We even have a snow blower that attaches to it for the winter months. Maybe my husband is to blame....





Well from the time Paige was old enough to sit on the tractor (about 10 months) she has made sure that if it was running, well she better be on it.  I can remember so many times that Jeff would start it up just to move it from one spot to another, a mere 10 feet or so, and Paige would come running, in tears afraid he was going to take a ride without her.  I am sure my neighbors think we are crazy but hey, we grew up in Ham Lake where everyone had big yards, riding mowers and ATV's.   And believe it or not....the 4-wheelers and snowmobiles are allowed to go just about anywhere that a car can go.  So needless to say, although taking a tractor ride around the 3 acre park that our yard backs up to doesn't seem like a big deal to us.  I am sure there is a neighbor or two out there with their nose in the air wonder exactly which city ordinance we are violating.



Paige still loves our tractor just as much as she ever did and now Quinn has discovered it too!  Now with Quinn I am not sure it is JUST a tractor fascination.  I am pretty sure he loves anything that starts and moves...especially if it is loud, he wants on it.  Jeff keeps his snowmobile in our garage and every time Quinn gets away from in the front of the house I am sure to find him there. It is a bit of a blessing in that if he wanders off for a moment while I am distracted...I know just where to find him.

Another interesting thing about Quinn is that he pays VERY close attention to the steps a person has to take to start any of these machines.  Thank goodness he can't operate a pull start!  Lord knows he tries his best though between the push mower, the weed whipper, the leaf blower and the sled.  He just pulls, and pulls and pulls! 

 One of Paige's favorite activities when visiting Papa is to go out in his digger (Bobcat) and grade the paddock.  Since she was about a year and a half she has hopped up in the seat with him and gone to work.  My Dad has expressed to me with both of my kids how nervous he is about them climbing up on one of his machines and starting it up.  Little sponges they are memorizing every step with ease!  Just last month the kids stayed with my parents while we were on a vacation and Quinn got to spend some time with Papa for the very first time on the digger and the 4-wheeler on a whole lotta land.  Quinn loved it!  When we picked him up to go back home my Dad was taking him for a ride, he was so funny, shrieking with excitement the whole time.  It was one of those things you wish you could just bottle right up and tuck away.

When Paige turned two we bought her a battery operated John Deere tractor.  She loved it, with the exception that it took her a little while to figure it out, the combination of pushing down on the gas and steering it at the same time was tough for her.  It wasn't until the summer of her 3rd birthday that she nailed it down.  Since then, and we are now on our third Summer, it is hard to keep a charge on it.  I never realized how much use that little tractor would get.  This Summer Quinn is trying to figure it out.  Now he is much bigger that Paige was at 2 and he is only 20 months so he fits on it quite well.  I have also noticed that he is quick to learn how to operate it.  He can hit the gas and crash it into stuff like nobodies business but that is about it for now.  But he will learn how to turn and back it up in no time!





Yesterday as I was doing laundry I peeked out the window and just melted as I watched my sweet Paige giving her little brother a ride around the yard...on her lap.  He was sitting right between her legs with a gigantic grin as she whipped back and forth, it was such a precious sight.  In the next hour I was able to catch him riding on the hood as well as sitting on the seat next to her on a backyard tour.  Of course as soon as I grabbed my camera...Paige was done with the tractor.  I did the best that I could and was able to capture a couple of cute shots.