Turtle Herder

That is what I am these days, a turtle herder.  I have been using the analogy for months, comparing what happens each morning before I am alone in my car and on my way to work to "herding squirrels" referring to my kids of course.  But this new term simply nailed it!  Turtle herding.  Perfect!  Anyone with kids knows what this is and this morning was a perfect example.

So Paige has these shoes, she calls them her Sandlot shoes.  Her favorite movie for quite some time now has been the Sandlot.  Well there is a boy in the movie who has a special pair of "converse-type" shoes...they have a very specific name though that I will have to find.  Oh!  P.F. Flyers!  Anyhow, we bought Paige a similar pair shoes for her birthday last summer.  Unfortunately they still fit her...but barely.  Really, I shouldn't say that because they really are very cute.  And what makes them particularly cute is the way that she wears them, in a very particular way.  Which leads me to turtle herding...

So this morning Paige chose to wear her "baseball shirt", this is an official looking MN Twins jersey.  She also chooses a kelly green t-shirt with an astronaut to wear underneath, and grey sweatpants.  Now when she puts on the jersey she is careful not to button any of the front buttons.  It is important to leave them all undone as the boy in "The Sandlot" does (see below).  
As I am herding my turtles downstairs, or at least attempting to, Paige tells me she wants to wear her Sandlot shoes.  Ugh.  These shoes are a royal pain in the you know what.  Just take a look and you will see why.

First I tell her no, that we don't have enough time this morning for these shoes.  But then she looks up at me, on the verge of tears and says, "but I already have my baseball shirt on...and I NEED to wear my Sandlot shoes. Please????"

Oh geez, we are late anyway.  What's another twenty minutes.  Really, these shoes take THAT long.  Here we go!

Step 1: I tell her to run and find then, this took at least five minutes in it's own, but we found them eventually buried in the front hall closet.  Of course they can't be kicked all over the floor like the rest of her shoes are!  That would make this easy.


Step 2: Untie the really tight double knots that are still in place from the last time she wore them. 


Step 3:  Loosen the laces all the way down to the toe, while pulling half of the laces from the eyelets in order to make the opening large enough for her to put her foot in....on both shoes.


Step 4: Watch Paige border a total meltdown and she repeatedly tries to get her foot into the shoe.  Like a fat man in a little coat.  She just grunts and pushes and grunts some more before tossing the shoes and beginning to cry.


Step 5: Repeat steps 3 & 4 at least two more times per foot.

Finally the shoes are on!  Yippee.  But now...they pinch, which brings us to...

Step 6: Remove the shoes and adjust the socks and try again.  And again.  And again.


Step 7: Get a different, thinner pair of socks.


Step 8: Repeat step 4


Step 9: Begin to carefully and evenly tighten the shoe corset.  Making sure each crossing of the laces is equally tight to avoid yet another meltdown.


Step 10: Tie the perfect double knot making sure that the loops are even and long.  But not too long.  But tight, very tight.


Step 11:  What?  That's not tight enough?  Oh for the love....repeat steps 9 & 10...

Do you see the issue here?  I loathe these shoes!  But I have to admit, she looks pretty darn cute in them.